


Of Mind and Shadows

by my_mutterings



Category: Naruto
Genre: Best Friends, Bonding, Childhood Friends, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mental Anguish, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Denial, Self-Doubt, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 01:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mutterings/pseuds/my_mutterings
Summary: Ino was always a self-confident girl who carried herself well. But one evening this image proves to be fragile and the broken pieces are put back in place by an all too familiar shadow.





	Of Mind and Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> This was a ShikaIno drabble that was meant to be a one-shot, but it ended up a bit on the long side?
> 
> Had this prompt stuck in my head this week and had to get it out.
> 
> I love these two and they are fun to write for!
> 
> Funny this is also my first official writing on here oof...
> 
> I'm way more of an artist than a writer, but enjoy! I tried.

_I can't remember the last time I looked up at the clouds..._  
  
Clouds were sweeping through the evening sky, casting the sunlight in different directions and it almost made it look like a painted canvas. The color contrasted Sai’s paintings greatly.  
  
The village was calm during this time of day and a lot of the villagers were either home preparing meals for their families or on the way home from a long day's work.

Ever since the Fourth Great Shinobi War had ended, things had been rather quiet. Missions were lesser than usual and threats had diminished greatly.  
  
Shikamaru watched the sky as he made his way through the streets of town, admiring the clouds and how carefree they were. The young shinobi looked ahead briefly, bringing a hand up to his mouth in response to a small yawn escaping him.

He was tangled up in his own thoughts, so much so, one would think him to be half asleep….and then a very faint rush of wind could be felt moving right passed him. It caused him to quickly pause and look.  
  
Long flowing blonde hair, a flash of purple, and a grief stricken face.  
  
_Was that...?_  
  
At that moment the breeze picked up and he felt a droplet or two hit his cheek.  
  
_Rain? But it's not raining._  
  
He reached up to wipe it away.  
  
As Shikamaru raised his brows in surprise, he turned around and opened his mouth to speak-  
  
" **Ino! Wait!** "  
  
...Huh? The words weren't his own. He turned forward again, following the voice to it's source.  
  
"Sakura?"  
  
Shikamaru approached the pink haired kunoichi, bewildered look on his face. She was staring off in the distance and the sound of her name brought her back to her senses. "Oh! Hey Shikamaru...on the way home?"

The boy nodded and hummed. "Hm? Well, I _was_ ." He paused, if only for a moment, to gather his thoughts. "I just saw Ino, did something happen?"

Sakura blinked at the question and looked down at the ground. She brought her head back up only to shake it in response. "I have no idea. One minute we were talking and laughing over at the cafe, and the next she just...ran out. Ino seemed pretty upset."  
  
He threw her a nonchalant look. "What were you two talking about exactly? Was it about Sasuke again?" The boy sounded dismissive.

Sakura showed slight irritation at the question. " **No!** We were just talking about life. Our goals...the future. Things like that." She dug her heel into the ground as she said this.  
  
“It’s actually not the first time either…” Sakura trailed off.  
  
Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck and stretched a bit, as if loosening up some tightened muscles. "I see. Thanks, that’s all I needed to know.” He closed his eyes, taking in a slow inhale of breath and letting out a deep sigh. As he opened his eyes again, his features and tone softened.  
  
“I'll go talk to her..." Shikamaru trailed off and pointed a thumb up over his shoulder. "I have a pretty good idea where she went." The pink haired girl looked thoughtfully at him, a look of relief showing on her face. They may argue from time to time, but she cared about Ino. She was her friend after all.  
  
Sakura raised a brow. "Isn't it almost dinner time though?" The young kunoichi knew well enough that Shikamaru's mother was a strict and scary woman. Especially when it came to being on time for dinner. The boy shrugged lazily, now staring back up at the sky. "It’s fine, I'm used to it. Not feeling all that hungry anyway."  
  
_Is it because he's worried?_  
  
Sakura kicked at the ground a bit. "I'm gonna go on then...let me know how things go, okay?" She smiled softly and waved before heading for home. Shikamaru gave a small nod as he turned around and started back the way he came from originally. As he walked on, he began swimming in his own thoughts.  
  
_Just what is going on in that head of yours, Ino?_

 

* * *

 

On the outskirts of town, the Konoha cemetery was quiet and a pitiful form was huddled up in front of a gravestone, trembling from the rising chill in the air. Despite her sensory skills, the blonde kunoichi didn’t even pick up on the approaching footsteps and was slightly startled at the sudden shadow looming over her.

“Ino?”

She brought her head up at the cautious, yet familiar voice that called to her. Ino found slight comfort in it and turned her head a bit to look. Her eyes were tired and empty, her eyeliner running, her cheeks damp.

The Nara stood there glancing down at his teammate, a perplexed and concerned look on his face. He was silent.

“S-Shikamaru….” She trailed off a moment, taking time to gather herself. “You’re going to see your dad and Asuma-sensei I take it?” Ino’s voice was cracking as she spoke, and it was painful for him to hear.

In all the years he’d known her, this may have been the first time Shikamaru had ever seen her this depressed. She looked even worse off than the day Sasuke had been announced a criminal and that’s saying a lot.

“Actually…” He blinked, not taking his eyes off of her. “I was looking for you.” The blonde raised her eyebrows, dazed, and then furrowed them as she slowly turned back to the gravestone.

_Damn that billboard brow!_

Ino casted an irritated sigh and looked down at the memorial in front of her. Shikamaru could swear that she was drilling holes into the stone by how intensely she’d been staring at it. Walking up and dropping to one knee, the boy crouched down beside her, setting a hand on her shoulder.

“Sakura’s pretty worried. What’s going on?”

She flinched at his sudden presence next to her. Ino knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid it for much longer. The Yamanaka was hesitant, her gaze still fixated on the unmoving stone.

“ **INO** …”

Shikamaru emphasized her name sternly and squeezed her shoulder, staring her down. It was clear how concerned and serious he was and she could sense it in his voice. The kunoichi inhaled sharply as her friend waited expectantly, his gaze unwavering.

“Um, I...” Ino was trying to piece her thoughts together, which proved to be rather difficult. Everything was hazy to her. Normally she was bold and outspoken, so this was an unusual demeanor for her and rather out of character at that.

The village actually admired and respected the way she carried herself so confidently, so to see her like… _this_? Far from normal. She hung her head down to stare at the ground and drew a short breath, almost letting out a choked sob in the process.

“.....I’m scared. Confused. Empty. Alone...and just so lost...” Ino was starting to tremble. “And I thought maybe coming to see dad would help.”

Ino’s words came spilling out like a chopped up log being tossed into a fire. They carried weight to them, but would soon be burned into a pile of ashes and mild regret.

She continued, unable to stop now and tears started building up in the corners of her eyes. “I feel like I’m losing my mind here. How am I supposed to lead the Yamanaka Clan when I can’t even keep myself together? Everything should be peaceful now, right? But…”

The kunoichi bit her bottom lip in frustration and wrapped her arms around herself, digging her nails into her own skin. “My mind isn’t...it isn’t at peace.”

Ino began trembling and digging her nails further into herself, not even realizing she was drawing blood then. “I was supposed to be this blooming bush clover dad always talked about, but I’m not.”

She closed her eyes tightly, attempting to block out any light that lingered and just barely above a whisper now, she cursed herself into oblivion.

She wanted to _cry_.

She wanted to _scream_.

She wanted to _fade away_.

Everyone else was breezing through life and Ino was staggering behind them, trying to keep up.

The Yamanaka felt incapable of shouldering all of the responsibilities as the clan head, believing she was unable to live up to everyone’s expectations, and the one person who seemingly had all of the answers was taken from her too soon and all because of a stupid war.

Ino forgot about her surroundings for a moment, drowning in her own thoughts. The distraught girl sighed deeply. “I’m sorry, Dad…” Shikamaru was listening to his fellow ninja intently, despite the fact she was no longer directing her words at anyone in particular.

She’d said enough.

He’d heard enough

Ino began curling more into herself, only to be pulled out of it by a stronger, more unrelenting force. The boy, still at her side, cupped a hand behind her head and the other at her back. He hugged her tightly against his chest, a warmth enveloping the fragile and broken girl. “Ino...I’m **sorry**.”

She was surprised not only at the gesture, but at the abrupt apology as well. Her voice was cracking, nearly hoarse. “Why are you apologizing? There’s...no reason for you to.”

He let out a soft sigh and set his chin on top of Ino’s head. When he spoke, he seemed more somber than he had been only moments ago. “People always praise me for having a flexible mind…yet I didn’t even notice the pain you’ve been in.”

Her face was buried in his chest, but her eyes were wide like saucers and moist. Now that Ino had everything out in the open, Shikamaru took the initiative to talk.

“Listen....I understand how you’re feeling. I’ve **been** there.” He began rubbing circles into her back, in an attempt to comfort her. She relaxed a bit and curled up more against him. Ino felt small and frail like this, but she also felt safe and secure. She stayed silent and listened to his words that were few and far between.

“At first I wasn’t sure about leading my clan. I wasn’t even sure I could lead my comrades into battle when the time called for it...” Shikamaru inhaled deeply and let out an extensive sigh before continuing on. “But we were going to war. Everyone was counting on me and there was no room for self doubt.”

He started running his fingers through her hair gently and thoughtfully. “It was because of people like Naruto, Choji, and **_you_ **...Ino, that I was able to step up and do what needed to be done. And without fear.”

The Nara boy smiled a bit, but there was a sadness there that his comrade couldn’t see. “You and I are alike in some ways. We both lost our sensei...our fathers. And we also _**survived**_ a war together.”

Shikamaru trailed off, taking into consideration the silence engulfing the two of them. “You’re not alone, Ino. You know...I was given so many opportunities to leave the village and see the world. But I chose to stay here. I wanted to stay close to home in case you guys needed me.”

His grip on her tightened, dark eyes full of genuine regard. “And I’m glad I did.” She quivered under the pressure that was surrounding her and a small hiccup escaped her lips.

“I am too…” It was a faint whisper, but it was quiet enough around them for him to hear it clearly and Shikamaru hummed back in acknowledgement.

Both of them sat in silence for a long while, taking in the cool, calm air as twilight fell over the now serene little village they’d come to know and love so much.  
  
“Hey Ino?” Shikamaru grabbed hold of her shoulders firmly and gently pushed her away from his chest for a moment, looking her in the eye as he did and she stared back at him, wearily.

His tone was smooth, direct, and maybe even a bit tired. “Do me a favor will ya...stop putting yourself down.” It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement. Or almost like a demand. The look she was giving him now, was an agonizing gaze and it honestly hurt him.  
  
He looked down for a moment, breaking eye contact with the girl now sitting in front of him. “You may not have realized it, but you’ve really come such a long way...and I may not have said this before, but-...”  
  
As he paused mid sentence, he looked back up at her, a tender and genuine look in his eye. The corner of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.  
  
“I’m proud of you.”  
  
The words rolled right off of his tongue and came so easily, yet she had such a hard time accepting them.

_Dad..._

Ino recalled back to when her father had said the same thing to her before he died and that was all it took for her to finally break. Her eyes widened and tears began running down her face like waterfalls as she choked back sobs, nearly collapsing in the process.

Shikamaru grabbed onto her in order to keep her upright and he furrowed his brows in concern as he pulled her against him and let her sob into his chest. He reiterated what he had said before. “I’m proud of you Ino...and I know Inoichi would be too if he were here.”

The dark haired boy did his best to comfort his teammate, giving her words of encouragement.

“Just let it out.”

_Just let it out._

Shikamaru remembered back when his father had helped him find closure for Asuma’s death and it fueled him greatly. “I’ll be here as long as you need, you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You…” Shaking and trembling she grasped at his vest as if clinging for dear life, sobbing and choking between words. “…probably find all of this so troublesome...I-I’m sorry.”

The shinobi raised his brows and snickered quietly to himself, smiling sheepishly as he held her. He paused, reaching a hand up to ruffle her already disheveled hair. “It’s a drag, yeah. But you’re like family to me, so it’s okay.”

Shikamaru looked up momentarily, licking his dry lips. “If I thought it _**THAT**_ troublesome, I wouldn’t even be here.” And he was probably right. Ino was grateful for his company and couldn’t help but smile.

They sat and remained like this for a spell, with only the breeze rattling the trees, and Ino’s quiet weeping.

While the boy was fixated on the sky, he felt his partner suddenly pushing herself away, trying to sit herself upright and he shifted his attention back on her, loosening his grip.

“You okay?” He asked with sincerity laced in his voice, casting a sharp and attentive look on her. Ino exchanged glances with him, nodding and wiping her face in an attempt to dry it. “I’ll be fine.” Shikamaru patted the top of her head gently, smirking all the while. “That’s my girl.”

Short, sweet, heartfelt.

It wasn’t often that he showed a side like this, if ever and Ino was lucky enough to see it.

_You really have grown up, huh?_

The boy tilted his head when he noticed Ino was staring at him. Her face was still damp, but she was smiling now.

Ino reached over and set a hand on his shoulder. “Wanna go see Asuma-sensei? And I’m sure your dad is waiting for you too.” She had a longing in her voice, but was sincere in her words.

The question caught him off guard and he was honestly amazed at her sudden recovery. He just blinked at her, wide eyed. “Uh yeah, of course.”

 

* * *

 

“Say hi to Inoichi for us, Dad.”  
  
After visiting Shikaku’s grave for awhile, the pair walked on over to their late sensei’s memorial.

They both knelt down in front of the stone, Shikamaru laying his hand on it fondly. “Hey Asuma-sensei...sorry it took so long to stop by. A lot has happened since you left.”

The tone in the shadow user’s voice was somber and the girl now crouched next to him patted his back gently in solidarity. Words were exchanged with the cold stone that lay before them, and despite not getting any response, they felt some kind of fulfillment.  
  
Shikamaru looked over at his friend, who was still looking down at the gravestone. “Do you remember what Asuma-sensei told you before he died?” It was a rhetorical question. Of course she remembered, how could she forget something like that?  
  
Ino looked back at him, pursing her lips and nodding slowly. “Yeah?” The boy promptly smiled.  
  
“Well, I got to thinking. If you’re gonna be taking care of me and Choij...then who’s gonna take care of you?”  
  
The blonde kunoichi was a bit puzzled at first, furrowing her eyebrows, unsure what he was implying. And then it hit her. She was taken aback, slightly flushed in the face.  
  
It was then that Shikamaru reached out and ruffled her hair, giving her one of the biggest smiles she’d ever seen. “Guess I’ll have to...what a drag.”

She sheepishly puffed her cheeks up, looking away and pouting. “I-I can take care of myself you know. It’s you two who are clumsy and don’t always think things through!” Ino’s voice cracked.

On the outside she was embarrassed, but deep down she was thankful for having such great friends that cared so much. And she was especially grateful for Shikamaru, who rarely went out of his way to do things like this, and yet here he was...trying his damnedest to make her feel better.  
  
Suddenly there was a grumble. Ino’s face flushed pink as she looked down at her stomach embarrassingly and then looked ahead, sitting up straight as a board. “Okay, how about some food...I’m pretty sure I missed out on dinner tonight.” Ino hung her head disheartened.  
  
There was another grumble.  
  
She looked over at Shikamaru, who was also flushed with embarrassment and grinned at her sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from her. “Sounds good.” Ino’s expression suddenly shifted to one of dread and impending doom.  
  
_I’m so glad Yoshino isn’t my mom, I don’t wanna die._

Shikamaru shrugged at her, already aware of her thoughts and Ino shot a glare towards him.

They bid their farewells to Asuma’s grave and turn to leave the cemetery, Ino poking Shikamaru’s arm. “So who’s gonna be paying?”

The friends looked at eachother expectantly for moment and blinked. The dark haired boy sighed and held a hand up in defeat. “I’ll treat you tonight, you deserve it.”  
  
Ino stopped.  
  
“How about…I pay half. It’s the least I can do for all the trouble I caused you.”  
  
Shikamaru stopped a few paces ahead of her, unturning. “Yeah, okay.”  
  
They continued their walk and as they did, Shikamaru slowed down just enough to walk shoulder to shoulder with Ino. He slung his arm around her neck. She smiled fondly at the gesture and accepted it, enjoying the rest of their walk.  
  
Shikamaru glanced at his teammate out of the corner of his eye and smiled at how happy and at peace she looked.  
  
_Don’t ever change, Ino…_  
_  
Don’t ever change._


End file.
